Intimacy Assessment for Husbands Welcome to the Intimacy Assessment for Husbands For each question below, choose the answer that most closely describes the current situation in your marriage. Please answer all questions to get your assessment results. We take privacy seriously. Your name, email address, and results will not be shared. Ever. NameEmail AddressDo you and your wife get time alone together to talk and connect every day? Rarely or Never Occasionally About half the time More often than not Every day or almost every dayDo you and your wife kiss much? We rarely or never kiss Infrequently and only briefly Every day Multiple times per day We like to make outHow often do you and your wife pray together out loud (excluding dinner time prayers)? We don't pray together We pray together once per month or less We pray together about once per week We pray together 2-3 time per week We pray together dailyAre you and your wife aware of each other's expectation of "normal" sexual frequency? We don't have sex these days We have never talked about it We have talked about it but she doesn't try to meet my expectation We have talked about it, but we fall short of these expectations She is aware and we do well at meeting each other's expectationsWhen you get stressed, how well are you able to stay engaged with your wife and connected emotionally? Stress makes me shut down and withdraw I often end up isolating myself About half the time we can maintain our connection We lose our connection less than half of the time, but I make an effort to get it back I am able to stay engaged and connected even when I'm stressedDo you consult your wife before making any large purchases? Never Sometimes Half of the time Most of the time AlwaysHow often do you give your wife a sincere compliment about her appearance? Never Less than once per month About once per week Several times per week Every day or almost every dayDo you feel comfortable talking to your wife about anything? Not at all There are lots of things I don't talk to her about True for some things, not for others True for most things, but some things I keep to myself We talk freely about anythingAre you and your wife “on the same page” spiritually? Not at all Not much, but we discuss it Somewhat Mostly Very much or completelyWho does date night planning? We don't go on dates My wife always plans them I sometime do the planning I do all the planning We usually share the planningHow often do you give your wife non-sexual touches with the expectation of receiving sex in return? Never Rarely, she doesn't like to be touched Sometimes, but usually with the idea of sex in mind A few times per week or less Daily or almost dailyDo you talk regularly about our relationship, where things are going well and where things can improve? We never have I can't remember the last time we did We used to but don't anymore At least a few times per year Monthly or more oftenHow do you handle finances? We each keep our own money completely separate from the other We have both shared and separated accounts We only have shared bank accounts but rarely discuss money We only have shared accounts but no budget or savings goals We only have shared accounts and have jointly planned budget and savings goalsHow often does your wife have an orgasm during lovemaking? Never Rarely Less than half of the time Most of the time - as often as she wants to Pretty much every timeTo what extent do you feel your wife trusts you? Not at all Very little In some things but not in others In most things CompletelyHow frequently do you talk with your wife about what is going on in your spiritual life? Never Rarely Sometimes When it is something significant FrequentlyHow freely do you share your hopes and dreams with your wife? I used to but don't any longer She knows a few of my hopes and dreams I share them freely with her She knows them well and actively supports me reaching themWhat usually happens when you feel disrespected by your wife or you are sexually dissatisfied? I get angry and I express it I get quiet and back away I often withhold tenderness and affection I sometimes stay engaged, but sometimes not I usually am able to stay engaged and talk it throughDo you know what makes your wife feel most loved? I have no idea what makes her feel loved I have some idea, but I don't make a lot of effort to do it I pretty much know, but I don't try as much as I should I know her love needs well, and at least make a good effort I know her love needs well and am pretty consistent at showing her love her wayDo you go on dates? Never Every few months About once a month A few times per month Every week, or almost every weekWhen it comes to improving your marriage… I don't try any more I am waiting for my wife to make changes first I try, but my wife doesn't seem to change I know we both need to make changes, and we try I work mostly on being a better husbandHow comfortable are you leading your family spiritually? I'm not even sure what that means I'm not very comfortable at all I try but I don't feel very good at it I am somewhat comfortable I am completely comfortableHow are you doing in the romance department? I've stopped trying to romance my wife I've never been very good at it I try, but I don't feel I do a good job romancing my wife the way she wants I think I make her feel romanced, but I'm not sure I make romancing her a priority, and I am intentional about it.When you have a conflict or disconnect, how do you get things back on track? I back off and wait for my wife to approach me My wife is usually the one to initiate reconciliation We each initiatie reconciliation about half the time I usually initiate reconciliation unless my wife is in the wrong I do whatever I can to re-establish our connection as soon as possibleDo you and your wife have shared hobbies and/or recreational interests? We don't have any shared hobbies or interests She shares in my interests, but I don't share in hers I share in her interests, but she doesn't share in mine We have some shared interests, but it's hard to find the time and energy for them We try hard to make our shared interests a priority.Before you submit your answers using the button at the bottom of the page, please let us know if you have any feedback on this assessment using the comment box below. Thanks for taking this intimacy assessment. A summary of your results will appear after you submit your answers using the button below. You will receive a copy of your results by email shortly. You will be added to our special email list for Intimacy Assessment takers only (you can unsubscribe at any time). As a special bonus will receive an exclusive download edition of my couple's workbook Intimate Connections, designed to grow the intimacy in your marriage by providing easy-to-use, fill-in-the-blank conversation starters for three important dimensions of intimacy: Soul, Body, and Spirit. Look for it in your inbox soon.