How Much PDA is Too Much?

When it comes to PDA, the real question is “How much is enough?”

 

I’m a member of Christian Marriage Bloggers Association, and this month CMBA is sponsoring a blog challenge based on this picture by Kate Aldrich Photography (titles added by me).

PDA

Kate and her husband Brad, blog at One Flesh Marriage.

I’m a little late to the party with this post, and my take on the photo is somewhat different than my fellow CMBA bloggers (check out the list of other challenge posts in the comments on this CMBA Newsletter post).

My immediate thought upon seeing the challenge photo went to public displays of affection, or PDA.

I realize there are cultural and contextual limits to PDA, but I personally err on the side of more not less. Let me explain.

Proclaim Your Love

I appreciate couples who are willing to show the world that they are happily married, still in love and show affection for each other. No, I don’t want to see a public make-out session or blatant groping, but I see a whole lot more of the other extreme: couples who practically act like strangers in public.

What I like about this photo is the way this couple obviously has affection toward each other. Although their actions are moderated by the umbrella, their love shines through.

Publicly showing affection for your spouse not only demonstrates your love, but it is a great declaration in support of marriage in general. “Marriage rocks! And I’m not afraid to show it!”

Below you’ll find 15 ways to give the world a glimpse of your affection for each other.

Affection Doesn’t Mean Indecent

Of course your spouse needs to be comfortable with whatever form of PDA you engage in, but there are plenty of ways ways to show affection without being indecent or inappropriate. For example:

  • Hold hands while you walk through your neighborhood
  • Kiss hello and goodbye regardless of where you are
  • Put your arm around your wife in church
  • Lean your head on your husband’s shoulder in the theater while waiting for the movie to start
  • Rest your hand on your spouse’s knee while sitting on the same side of the booth in a restaurant (Yes, Mr. and Mrs. Tripplehorn, it is very much a married move).

I don’t know of anyone who would find such actions offensive.

Non-Physical PDA

There are also tons of ways to show affection that don’t involve physical contact. Here are just a few:

  • Open your wife’s car door for her. (Take her hand to help her from the car)
  • Speak kindly (even brag) about your spouse to your friends and family
  • Bring your spouse a cup of tea or coffee at the church coffee hour
  • Send flowers to your wife at work

Public Secret

When you are away from home, there are other ways to show affection for each other that are for your eyes/ears only. Such acts of love add a sense of spice and adventure to your relationship while you are out and about. Some secrets that only the two of you will know:

  • Make eye contact with each other and smile warmly across a crowded room. Give an air kiss.
  • Let your husband know that you are wearing something special for him under your clothes (or that you aren’t wearing anything!)
  • Whisper something romantic in your wife’s ear
  • Steal a long, passionate kiss in a private hallway or dark parking lot
  • Write a slightly racy text message about your plans for the evening. (You can make it racier if you have a private, secure messaging app like Couple or Avacado.)
  • Leave a note where only your spouse will find it (wallet, purse, briefcase, etc). It can range from sweet to sexy.

What’s your take on couples showing affection for each other in public? Would you like to see more of it in your own marriage? Leave a comment

About Scott

Author, teacher and champion of great marriages. Founder of HMM Creations, providing resources that help you create the passionate, intimate and enduring marriage you always wanted.

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